CSotD: Stylish Commatary

Hard on the heels of our discussion of the topic, xkcd weighs in on the matter of college commas.

To be finicky, there probably is a University of Chicago comma, but it may manifest itself in its absence. They have plenty of rules about commas, but since I don’t care enough to become a member and have long since donated my old copy to some poor masochist, I’ll just note that the “next 10” at the bottom of the page reminded me of those movies where you dasn’t go into the basement.

And if I had ever used “dasn’t” in a story, I’m sure my editor, armed with her extensive mastery of the Associated Press Style Book, would have declared it not a word. Which it is.

There were occasionally interesting discussions of style in the newsroom, such as the time I had to argue that, while we don’t capitalize “mom and dad” in the sentence “Ask your mom and dad if you can go,” they become names and proper nouns in “I asked Mom and Dad and they said it was okay.”

Or possibly “OK” but probably not “O.K.” At that in the conversation, I would go get a cup of coffee or something.

I would rather be staked to an anthill (one word) than discuss style points with an editor.

Though this Kaamran Hafeez/ Helene Parsons cartoon reminds us that there are such people in every profession and your job is to work around them as much as possible.

Joseph Heller satirized them in Catch-22 in the person of Lt. Scheisskopf, who was obsessed with how the men swung their arms as they paraded, but it’s not nearly as funny when you’re sitting around the table for yet another meeting being dragged out by three or four scheisskopfen who imagine they’re accomplishing something.

And speaking of scheisskopfen, doesn’t it make you proud to know that the whole world really is watching, even in far off South Africa?

It’s a lot funnier when it is reduced down to little Thandi’s explanation in Madam & Eve than when it’s being proposed by genu-wine would-be political leaders here.

Quick logical point: As far as who won the 2020 election, it seems bizarre to campaign on a platform of “Make America Great Again” and then declare that you don’t want to discuss the past because you’re focused on the future.

Maybe it should be “Make America Great Eventually.”

Non Sequitur (AMS) suggests that the real snake wasn’t the one who taught humans to think but the one who persuaded them not to.

If people would get off their high horses and read the Bible as folk tales rather than arguing over whether it’s history, well, first of all, this would be a better world, but also you could discuss how eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil spelled the end to an earthly paradise.

And then you could discuss the bad decisions, like worshipping the Golden Calf when they’d already seen Yahweh part the Red Sea and strew their path with manna.

And bogarting the food they’d brought with them to hear Jesus speak until he shamed them into sharing by handing out all he had.

At which point, like Wiley, we could update a few of those folktales for modern times.

Okay, just a little more politics: This pairing from La Cucaracha (AMS). I knew a fellow who got four votes in each election, because he filled out sample ballots for his wife, mother and mother-in-law to take into the booth.

But, as the couple here suggests, those days may be drawing to an end. There isn’t a lot of Democratic campaign stuff out there because they got a late start, but I did see a hand-painted yard sign yesterday that just said “Madame President.”

And I wonder who’s voting for whom in all those houses with no yard signs at all?

The Other Coast (Creators) jokes about something real: I’ve had several books fall prey to puppy teeth over the years. It may be the glue in the binding, but I’d rather think my dogs were fans of Sir Francis Bacon, because we know dogs love bacon, and Sir Francis said

Some books should be tasted, some devoured, but only a few should be chewed and digested thoroughly.

More canine philosophy, this from the Dogs of C Kennel (Creators). He’s right that nature shows do go on about things like deforestation and climate change and suchlike, but I think they should, because a lot of that nature isn’t going to be around much longer.

And perhaps neither will we, but at least we’re doing it to ourselves. You can bet that, if we find a workaround to keep us alive, we’re not looking at another Noah’s Ark where we save everybody.

In the 1950s, there were several TV shows and movies about nuclear war and people started building fallout shelters, but they stocked them with guns and made sure the doors locked because they weren’t prepared to shelter the neighbors, too, so I think the cheetahs and elephants are going to be at the back of the line whether the end comes quickly or (no pun intended) by degrees.

There was a joking conversation about On the Beach in Montreal, with us telling some New Zealanders to save us a place where we could wait for the atomic cloud to catch up with us, but they responded by describing Waiheke Island, where the world’s richest rich folks have staked out places to retreat after they’ve destroyed everything.

So, yes, I’m willing to live without plastic forks, but it reminds me of Abbie Hoffman’s response to the first Earth Day: “I’ll pick up the Dixie Cup. Who the *&(# is gonna pick up Con Edison?”

Good thing we’re not doing politics today, innit?

In another Montreal conversation, someone asked me about Wallace the Brave (AMS), which he had heard people talk about but hadn’t seen.

I said that it is a great deal like Calvin and Hobbes, except that most of Calvin’s hijinks and wild adventures occur in his head, while Wallace and his crew are actually out there doing these things for real.

Today’s episode is a good example, but, then again, even the bad ones are good!