CSotD: I know you are, but what are we?

Prickly City (AMS) reiterates the high-minded, analytical approach familiar to grade-school alumni: “I know you are, but what am I?”

Trump having been seen dozing off while he was on trial, the response is to declare that Biden dozes off all the time. It’s not the only example, particularly if you plumb the depths of social media, where, for instance, rumors of Trump wearing adult diapers have sparked accusations of Biden being incontinent.

Which is a too-close-to-literal example of Steve Bannon’s advice to pile up so many accusations — whether true or outrageously false — that the media wastes time, energy and bandwidth dealing with that instead of with real issues:

The Democrats don’t matter. The real opposition is the media. And the way to deal with them is to flood the zone with shit.

In case you’ve lost track of Steve Bannon lately, Ann Telnaes provides this reminder of how his loyalty to Dear Leader has paid off: Bannon has been ordered to report to jail July 1 for a four-month sentence, which isn’t terribly long but will take him out of play for the elections.

He gambled and lost, because if he’d bucked up and taken his punishment right away, he’d be free to flood the zone on behalf of the boss.

Which is an example, to paraphrase Mel Brooks, of why it’s good to be the boss.

As Clay Jones notes, Dear Leader’s response to attack is to deny everything, regardless of it being not simply on the record but, in many cases, on video. The fact that he’s nearly the only president never to have had a dog in the White House is no impediment to his defense that the dog ate his homework.

BTW, the only other non-canine-owning presidents were James Polk, who led us into the Mexican War, and Andrew Johnson, who made a shambles of Reconstruction. Only James Buchanan — who had two dogs — scores lower than those three in the assessment of presidential historians.

Buchanan also had a pair of eagles.

But I digress.

Bob Gorrell (Creators) invokes the “I know you are but what am I?” defense with what is, by fair measures, a lie.

Certainly, some Democrats have said Hunter Biden’s prosecution is petty partisan gamesmanship, and, even more certainly, others have pointed out that the gun-law violation is an issue other violators have not faced charges over.

But to declare that he is above the law is not a position of the Democrats, and, in fact, the President has been adamant that he will not pardon his son, unlike Trump who has showered pardons on his pals and, if elected, has promised more for participants in the attempt to overturn the 2020 elections.

IKYABWAI?

Clay Bennett (CTFP) expresses the MAGA point of view on this, which has become synonymous with the Republican point of view.

And, to repeat, if every gun owner who smokes grass were to confess to having falsified that blank on their application, we’d have a very large pile of turned-in weapons and a whole lot of people facing the same charge Hunter Biden is facing.

Though, as Jeremy Banx points out, we’ve reached a point in Lookingglass Land where up is down and people are not only capable of believing as many as six impossible things before breakfast, but take it as a point of patriotic loyalty to do so.

Which would be a lot funnier if it weren’t a sign that Trump’s GOP has successfully undermined faith in both the electoral process and now the judicial system.

Not, Chris Britt (Creators) reminds us, without help from that third branch of government.

The Alitos could conceivably be defended as a man trying to maintain peace with an emotionally unstable wife, given her reported behavior and her latest rantings. After all, Mary Todd Lincoln was a handful, but her husband maintained his equanimity and was admired for being able to handle the distraction.

But gaining a similar reputation would require that Justice Alito keep his own mouth shut and not reveal that, yes, indeedy, he’s got strong personal prejudices that could have an effect on his professional judgment and neutrality.

Chief Justice Roberts might still duck his head, shut his eyes and look the other way over their attitudes.

What should be impossible for Roberts to deny and ignore — though apparently it isn’t — is the rampant corruption of Clarence Thomas, who has taken millions in “gifts” and whose wife is not simply eccentric and outspoken but deeply, professionally involved in antigovernment causes.

Which raises the legal question “Quid est hoc stercore?”

Juxtaposition of the Day

Jack Ohman — Tribune

John Deering — Creators

As of 8:30 am, there have been no reports of what went on at Trump’s Zoom hearing with his probation officer yesterday, but I suppose if he’d been clapped in irons and hauled away some word would have leaked out.

Then again, that was an unlikely outcome, since the probation officer only makes a sentencing recommendation to the judge, which might fit Ohman’s scenario, though it’s a little sketchy with regards to Deering’s.

According to this BBC explainer, this isn’t the time when Trump would be expected to admit he broke the law, though he might want to wise up and come clean when he appears before Judge Merchan on July 11.

For now, he retains the right to appeal and delay things. Just ask Steve Bannon.

It would be astounding for Trump to face jail time for a Class E felony, first of all because it isn’t how such things are normally disposed of and second because Merchan has already demonstrated his ability to take an astonishing amount of abuse without losing his cool.

The more interesting case is of Alex Jones, who is having to liquidate his personal holdings in order to finally pay the judgment against Sandy Hook parents.

Donald Trump still owes E. Jean Carroll an award that continues to mount the more he continues to delay.

In any case …

Matt Golding calls us back from the ledge, because while it’s true that the world remains something of a cesspool, you needn’t wait for the Best of All Possible Worlds to manifest itself before cultivating your garden.

Keep pulling the weeds and tossing the rocks, but focus on the flowers and veggies.